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Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup with the Eagles.
The Steelers are back at home and looking to start 2020 at 4-0, but there are many questions to be answered. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this opening contest.
Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.
- Boujee Smith-Schuster, incensed that his request to the Rooney’s to get a private box for the Eagles game, Shows up the Heinz Field wearing a Little Tykes Eagles jersey and is seen sidling up to Jeffrey Lurie.
- A certain co-editor of BTSC so enraged to see another large man wearing a more authentic Kylo Ren Steelers custom helmet on the sideline for the home team, attempts to take his Stars Wars replica blaster to his television set a la Elvis upon seeing Bob Goulet. The injured Zach Banner becomes said co-editor’s sworn enemy.
- Ben Roethlisberger is sacked three times on the afternoon, but No. 7 throws for three scores against no picks.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster catches one of those TD passes from Ben and proceeds to celebrate by doing an eloquent elephant impression in the end zone while Boujee delivers bags of peanuts to random fans. The gesture is to commemorate Past President and former peanut farmer Jimmy Carter’s winning of Nobel Peace Prize On this date in 2002 for organizing peace talks between Israel and Egypt in 1978.
- The Steelers’ fail to hold on to the football twice and a new turnover streak begins.
- With the Eagles paying loads of attention to Eric Ebron, Vance McDonald explodes for nine catches and a touchdown on the day.
- James Conner goes in to gain over a combined 150 yards on the day with 84 rushing and 70 through the air.
- Terrell Edmunds picks off Carson Wentz.
- T.J. Watt and Bud Dupree combine for 4.5 sacks against a depleted Philadelphia line.
- Not quite a blowout, the Steelers clip the Eagles 26-16.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.